Giving Thanks

It's Thanksgiving here in the Heartland, and I'm up early.  Not to cook, though that's on the agenda soon enough, but because I was plagued by nightmares of negativity and loss all night.  The reason is because right before bed, I read this blog about a "reformed" vegan.  In it, the author derides her previous vegan diet as unnatural and the destroyer of her health and spirit.  To me, it reads like propaganda by someone who has never been vegan, or at best a bitter stab at justifying her switch back to an omnivorous diet.  She says a lot of stuff that I can't imagine anyone who has ever supported the idea of a vegan diet saying:

"...the foods I was eating as a vegan saved no more animal lives and were no ethically better than the foods I am now eating as an omnivore.."
"...nutritious cholesterol..."
"Humans have been consuming animals (in much greater quantities than we do now) for millions of years ..."
"...I wasn’t just a regular vegan, I was a hardcore, self-righteous and oh so judgmental vegangelical. I never passed up an opportunity for some preaching."

It reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where the dentist becomes Jewish just for the jokes.  Like she's vegan bashing from the inside. 

What's worse is that I came upon this blog through facebook; a guy I know (and really like and respect) had posted it under the heading "Interesting. I had a feeling that having a vegan diet could be really hard on you health-wise but never did I think it could get this bad."  Great.  Someone who I have never seen ever post anything about food choices finally posts a link about veganism and it all about how veganism will kill you.  Not about Oprah doing a vegan cleanse or about Bob Harper saying that becoming vegan saved his health, but the rants of some squealing harpy, designed to help every omnivore be just as judgemental and self-righteous as the most militant vegan.  And so there's the real problem:  I am tired of being painted as a holier-than-thou preaching shrew-woman when that couldn't be further from the truth.  Not only that, but all the omnivores who posted comments on his link seemed to be vying for who could be judgiest:

" I actually spent a year doing the vegetarian thing (never was crazy enough to go vegan)..."
"I hate it when people get all militant and self-righteous about their diets, and vegans, from personal experience, are especially prone to this..."
"While I was a vegetarian for a couple of years (they straigtened [sic] me up and forced me to eat meat the last time I went to Argentina..."
"If you are a vegan or a vegetarian and you feel better about yourself for being so for whatever reasons you might have, good for you!, but for the love of Pete, don't become a martyr for your cause, especially when no one will care enough to change the world just because you lose your hair and stop menstruating..."

So let's see, for being vegan, people project on me that I am (1) crazy, (2) militant and self-righteous, (3) in need of a good "straightening out", and (4) trying to prove something or inflate my own ego at the cost of my health.

Actually, not.  But I can't really say that, now can I?  Because even one word in defense of my choices makes me defensive at best or a dreaded "vegangelical" at worst.  Here's what I did say: "Hey, I don't want to be annoying, but I can't help but mention that I'm vegan and it's easy and I'm neither emaciated nor anemic. In fact, my iron is higher now than when I was an omnivore. I'm not discounting that others may have experiences very different from mine, but after reading that article, I'm pretty sure the person who wrote it was never vegan. "She" says some very weird stuff that is untrue and also some very vegan-hating stuff for someone who was so enamored with the lifestyle for so long. I'll have to look into that a little more. But anyway, for what it's worth, I think the writer's "experience" is the very rare exception to the rule. I don't know many other vegans, but the maybe dozen I have met have also never told me of any ill health effects. Oh, and if you ever want to have a vegan dinner, I've been told I whip up a heck of a feast."
And that's me.  A vegan apologist.  I'm so tired of being judged that not only am I not an advocate for my lifestyle, but I am constantly trying to downplay my own choices so that other people won't feel bad or think that I am trying to judge them. 

Here's the straight scoop on what I want from omnivores:
Stop projecting your judgement on me.  We are each entitled to our own morality.

I really remain conscious of my actions and what I say to avoid judging people for their beliefs.  Hey, if you honestly thing that animals are less than people and are put on this earth for us to eat and that their suffering is less important that our pleasure, then I will not argue.   I might disagree, but I will not try to convert you or tell you that you're wrong, and I have to respect that you've given it some thought and made sure that your actions conform to your beliefs.

Where I might start to look judgey is when people's morals don't align with their actions.  When they choose to act in conflict with what they know is right because it's easier to ignore the truth.  What irks me is when the guy in the cubicle next to me announces "Hey, if you ever want to eat eggs again, don't read the article in today's news briefing about the farm in Texas."  And proceeds to stick his head in the sand by proclaiming loudly, "well, I'm sure the eggs that I eat come from really happy chickens that get to scratch in the grass and eat grubs and live long lives."  That's what I call willful denial.  I say, if you see something that's wrong according to your morality, stop supporting it.  Don't look the other way just because you really like eggs.  I once heard someone say that it's amazing that vegans are categorized as illogical sentimentalists when it's often the other way around.  I saw that the egg industry was doing things that I didn't approve of, so I stopped eating eggs.  My friend at work saw the same thing, but he chose to create a silly illusion in his mind because he didn't want to think about the consequences of his actions because he thinks eggs are yummy.  Which of us is the sentimentalist?

So, if I say to him "Hey, that's not right!  You shouldn't ignore the facts just for your own comfort," is that being judgemental?  Is it being "vegangelical"?  Must I totally ignore it if someone actually brings up the cruelty of factory farming to me?  Typically, not only do I not evangelize, but I often even try to squirm out of having a conversation about my veganism if I think it will get a chilly reception.  Recently, on a work trip with 4 guys, we stopped at Red Lobster for lunch.  I had a salad and a side of veggies, and my lunch mates couldn't help but notice my lack of enthusiasm for the "cheddar bay biscuits."  I was grilled about everything that I eat and don't eat and the reasons behind it.  Luckily, these 4 guys all had intimate knowledge about animal farming and the pollution that it causes, so all I had to say was "well, you guys see how it is; I'm just not into that and I don't want to support it."  That was it, and I still had to endure another 45 minutes of questions and comments like "what do you eat instead of X?  Don't you miss Y?  I could never live without Z..." as well as insinuations that I was fragile and sentimental. 

So yes, I think the systematic cultivation of cruelty which we call "animal agriculture" is wrong.  But I don't think meat is murder.  Hunters, for example, I largely respect.  But I can't support a system where animals are treated like an inanimate commodity and skinned alive for their fur or fed the stomach contents of their brethren as their last meal before a cruel death.  I refuse to ignore the fact that animals are alive and can feel, but I promise not to call you out on your choices as long as they align with your beliefs.  Please show me the same respect.

*deep breath*

I just had to get that off my chest.  Let's close with something I am truly thankful for:

Last Sunday, I celebrated my 5th annual "Vegan Thanksgiving."  We had a total of 14 for dinner (myself and my husband included) and everyone brought wonderful dishes to share.  My heart was warmed by my open-minded omnivore and vegetarian friends trying their hand at vegan cooking, and I was delighted to meet a couple of fellow vegans.  It was also incredibly delicious and decadent -- and I enjoyed the leftovers for days. 

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.  I hope you have a lot to be thankful for.