Thursday, August 19, 2010

The key to a happy relationship...

...is food, of course. 

As I was getting ready to leave work yesterday, my husband sent me a text hinting at those 3 little words that every spouse loves to hear: I'm making dinner.  When I got home, there were boca burgers on the grill, buns a-toasting, and this cornucopia cooking up, smelling so good:


A week or two ago, my husband invested in a grill basket, and it's been wonderful.  It's a way for him to finally enjoy preparing and eating all those great CSA veggies!  (See what we got this week?  Potatoes, carrots, onion, eggplant...)  He seasoned these up really well, but in the end we both gave up and ended up dousing them in the wonderful barbeque sauce that I brought home from my trip to Memphis (I prefer Rendezvous, he likes the Corky's apple).  We liked them so much, we both had seconds!

So, are any of you wondering whether my husband is vegan, too?  Well, he's not.  He a meat-loving omnivore.  I know some vegans would be scandalized.  I've met vegans who have cut people (even parents) out of their life for not going vegan.  But that's not me.  My husband was a meat-eater when I met him, and I am not going to try and force him to change. 

But I sure am happy that he's so open-minded.  He cooks vegan for me and has never asked me to make him anything I wouldn't eat.  He goes to vegan restaurants with me when we travel, he loves tofu salad, tempeh "cheesesteaks" and is addicted to morningstar grillers (not vegan, I know, but he likes them).  He even "vegan-izes" his family recipes and brings them to omnivore potlucks  --- when I'm not even going to be there!!  He defends my veganism when I'm not around.  So yes, he still happily consumes animal products, but he's come a long way from his bachelor days to meet me half-way, and I would be an idiot to throw him out of my life because of what he eats or buys.

So the truth comes out:  I guess I'm not really a militant vegan at all.  My veganism is a personal choice -- a very personal one, in fact.  And it's based on my own personal morality and what I can live with and what I can't.  I won't ask anyone to conform their morals to mine.  I'm not going to try to convert anyone to a different religion or try to change their opinions on abortion, so I'm not going to threaten or coerce them into going vegan...  But what I can do is ask them to look at the truth.  Expecting people to consider the realities of animal exploitation is not too much to ask, I think.  So I tell people what happens to the baby calves that should be drinking the milk that is, instead, turned into their ice cream.  I explain how, exactly, a "free-range" chicken spends its days.  I tell people about the environmental harm caused by cattle CAFOS and the way that a pig suffers in a hog barn.  But then I let them make their own choices.  That they listen and think is all I can ask.

And though I would like my husband to choose veganism some day, for now I'm just very glad that he listens to me and supports my decision.  It's enough that we can respect each others thoughtful choices.  And it doesn't hurt that he cooks me awesome vegan dinners, either!

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